On a whim, I looked up Santa's address. And there was an address and it was for Santa. However, I just wasn't aware that Santa doesn't believe in Christmas.
What?!?!? Santa doesn't believe in Christmas?
Seriously, yes. Apparently he doesn't.
Why have I come to this conclusion, you might ask?
Well, today Raef got a letter from the North Pole. It has the usual elf and Mrs. Claus narrative. Thank goodness they are married still, and you can still address her as Mrs. and not as Ms. I guess that is not politically incorrect...yet.
You know, they are making toys and staying busy and all of that stuff. And Santa does wish Raef a very nice holiday, but not a Merry Christmas. I guess he doesn't believe in Christmas, although I was always under the impression that Santa and Christmas were synonymous.
But this is the part that really piqued my interest...
You know, when I'm traveling in my sleigh on Christmas Eve, I'm always amazed by how beautiful our planet is and how much I wish to protect it. Mrs. Claus always packs my cookies in my favourite reusable lunch bag for my long trip around the world. She knows how much I love her cookies!
Well, it is time for me to check in on the Elves. I hope you have a very nice holiday and please write to me again next year!
Your jolly friend,
Apparently, I have had it all wrong this whole time. I have been misled by the specious argument that the eco-friendly light bulbs that adorn every corner of my house, the hybrid- electric-vegetable oil fueled car I drive, and all the carbon credits I have been saving up were going to save the planet. It is all wrong.
I just need to pack my cookies in my favourite reusable lunch bag. That is the really ticket to avoiding the apocalypse.
Darn it. I guess I will just go back to driving my not-so-evil SUV, filled with reusable lunch bags of course.