September is one day away. Can I tell you how much I just love September? It is the beginning of fall, football season, back-to-school, cooler air, and beautiful colors. But the best part is that it is my last month to be pregnant.
Can I get a hallelujah?
I am going to be scheduling my delivery, via c-section, on September 30. The c-section is really not an option since I have had 3 already. I am dreading it, but I am just going to make the best of it and hope that it goes okay.
I wouldn't say that this pregnancy has been any harder physically than my other three. But it has been difficult mentally. I have so many things I want to do and had planned on doing this year and I had to hit the pause button. 2013 is not my year. It will have to wait until 2014 or even '15.
Ever since my first pregnancy I have had a really tough time with my stomach. I get terrible ulcer attacks, pregnant or not. I even had everything tested at the beginning of the year and the results were inconclusive. When I found out I was pregnant this time, I think it was my biggest concern. This would be the end of my stomach. It would officially disintegrate. I still have a stomach and it is still functioning but I really think that it hates me.
Last night was definitely my worst night of pregnancy. I went to sleep just fine, but woke up at about 1:00 a.m. because I could feel the volcano was about to erupt. I went to the bathroom and then started coughing and then it could not been contained. I had completely lost control of my body. It was pretty horrible and very painful. The acidic content was exceptionally high. I am grateful that my husband was there to help me and that I could take a warm shower to calm myself down.
So, today I think I have been more depressed than anything. I have been a potted plant dwelling in the bowels of my house. I just want today to be over with, and the next thirty as well.
I have to remind myself that this whole ordeal will be over soon. Life will move on. Children will grow. I will reemerge like a phoenix from the ashes. Tick tock, tick tock.