Saturday, August 31, 2013

My Stomach Hates Me

September is one day away.  Can I tell you how much I just love September?  It is the beginning of fall, football season, back-to-school, cooler air, and beautiful colors.  But the best part is that it is my last month to be pregnant.

Can I get a hallelujah?

I am going to be scheduling my delivery, via c-section, on September 30.  The c-section is really not an option since I have had 3 already.  I am dreading it, but I am just going to make the best of it and hope that it goes okay.

I wouldn't say that this pregnancy has been any harder physically than my other three. But it has been difficult mentally.  I have so many things I want to do and had planned on doing this year and I had to hit the pause button.  2013 is not my year. It will have to wait until 2014 or even '15.  

Ever since my first pregnancy I have had a really tough time with my stomach. I get terrible ulcer attacks, pregnant or not.  I even had everything tested at the beginning of the year and the results were inconclusive.  When I found out I was pregnant this time, I think it was my biggest concern.  This would be the end of my stomach. It would officially disintegrate. I still have a stomach and it is still functioning but I really think that it hates me.

Last night was definitely my worst night of pregnancy.  I went to sleep just fine, but woke up at about 1:00 a.m. because I could feel the volcano was about to erupt.  I went to the bathroom and then started coughing and then it could not been contained. I had completely lost control of my body. It was pretty horrible and very painful. The acidic content was exceptionally high. I am grateful that my husband was there to help me and that I could take a warm shower to calm myself down.

So, today I think I have been more depressed than anything. I have been a potted plant dwelling in the bowels of my house.  I just want today to be over with, and the next thirty as well.

I have to remind myself that this whole ordeal will be over soon. Life will move on. Children will grow. I will reemerge like a phoenix from the ashes. Tick tock, tick tock.


NormaKimokeo said...

Awwwwww...... :-( Wish I was there to help as an extra pair of hands, at least. I hope the last month flies by quickly. Love you so much; hugs across the miles! XOXO

Hoku said...

You're such a trooper. (What else can we do when we're pregnant right?) So sorry to hear your pregnancy has been so miserable (again)! I know the phrase sounds trite but you're in the final stretch and your beautiful, talented children are the results of such discomfort and pain.

Wishing you the best in this last month!!! I can certainly empathize.

Anna said...

Hang in there. I feel for you though. I really do.

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