Saturday, March 31, 2012

A Clean Slate

I have been doing a lot of spring cleaning these past few weeks. Well, more like household castration, if you want to know.

I am rethinking everything.

What do I value? What is really important? I guess things that seemed so important before really are not so much anymore. Things like furniture pieces I have had forever, and living in a big house, and worrying  about having lots of friends.  Some things just really are not that important.

I am trying to let go.

It has been a lot easier to think about these things since we live so far away from civilization.  I feel like I have reached some sort of crossroad in my life right now and I need to decide which way I am going to go.  I still have not decided. I mean, I have goals that I want to accomplish, whether it is this year or 20 years from now.  But where do I go from here?  Where does my family go?

Not sure.

But until Rinar and I can choose our way, I am cleaning shop.  

I want clean and clutter-free, simple, but high-quality. I want to savor life and embrace new opportunities.  I am not going to sit around and worry about what others think.  I would not say this has ever really been a big problem, but I am guilty of getting wrapped up in it to a minor extent.  I just want to cherish what I do have.

After a heartfelt visit to Las Vegas and my ward family a few weeks ago, I realize that I am detached and aloof from my current circle.  I have made a few friends, but really feel no desire to put any effort into cultivating relationships with people. This is so completely opposite of who I am.  I don't like it, but I currently feel powerless to do anything about it. 

Therefore, my energy is directed towards boxes, closets, hidden corners, chests.  Everything is going to be scrutinized and I am going to let things go.  I feel like I need a clean slate and then I can reassess.

Hence, Goodwill should have a lot more inventory in the coming months.

1 comment:

i said...

I am totally doing some of the same with housekeeping. Trying to let it gooooo! It's hard, but I am getting better...Good for you. :) And good luck on friendships. It's hard in a new place huh?!

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