I have been doing a lot of spring cleaning these past few weeks. Well, more like household castration, if you want to know.
I am rethinking everything.
What do I value? What is really important? I guess things that seemed so important before really are not so much anymore. Things like furniture pieces I have had forever, and living in a big house, and worrying about having lots of friends. Some things just really are not that important.
I am trying to let go.
It has been a lot easier to think about these things since we live so far away from civilization. I feel like I have reached some sort of crossroad in my life right now and I need to decide which way I am going to go. I still have not decided. I mean, I have goals that I want to accomplish, whether it is this year or 20 years from now. But where do I go from here? Where does my family go?
But until Rinar and I can choose our way, I am cleaning shop.
I want clean and clutter-free, simple, but high-quality. I want to savor life and embrace new opportunities. I am not going to sit around and worry about what others think. I would not say this has ever really been a big problem, but I am guilty of getting wrapped up in it to a minor extent. I just want to cherish what I do have.
After a heartfelt visit to Las Vegas and my ward family a few weeks ago, I realize that I am detached and aloof from my current circle. I have made a few friends, but really feel no desire to put any effort into cultivating relationships with people. This is so completely opposite of who I am. I don't like it, but I currently feel powerless to do anything about it.
Therefore, my energy is directed towards boxes, closets, hidden corners, chests. Everything is going to be scrutinized and I am going to let things go. I feel like I need a clean slate and then I can reassess.
Hence, Goodwill should have a lot more inventory in the coming months.