Tuesday, April 15, 2014

How to NEVER Fail

As an avid news reader, I came across a little tidbit about a famous actress. I don't really see the point of saying who it is. It is really not that important. But what she says, the headlines she makes, really bother me quite a bit. I couldn't really put my finger on it specifically until today. 

This was her latest quote... 'For some reason, we get into relationships and we expect one man to understand ‘all’ the parts of us and meet all of those needs. I think that’s where everything fails.' She goes on to advocate short-term relationships and has repeatedly expressed her negative views about marriage.

Besides the obvious annoying, detrimental crap that spews from her mouth, it was something more that really bothered me. 

The actress, gorgeous, successful, "amazing", takes such an incredibly selfish, narcissistic, egotistical view of what marriage is all about. Apparently, in her point of view marriage is something where the man is supposed to fulfill all of her whims, needs, and aggrandize her incredible fabulousness. And since that just is not possible, because she is clearly so fabulous, marriage is just bound to fail her.

Well, amen to that!  Yes, I could not possibly see how marriage would ever settle on her or anyone who takes such a self-centered view of it. Or even how someone with that kind of attitude has the ability to foster any type of lasting, true friendship.

How can anyone possibly expect to be successful at marriage when they expect to have a partner who is able to fulfill all of their needs? It is ridiculous. When I feel dissatisfied with people in my life or with relationships, I can't blame anyone but myself. A true relationship is where I can serve and give of myself. And amazingly enough, when I serve, when I give my best self, it is always reciprocated ten-fold. I see this with my husband and I especially see it with my children.

I have a true and faithful husband who loves me pretty and loves me ugly. Does he satisfy 'all' the parts of me? Well, no. But are you kidding me? I am a woman and hence I know I am a complicated creature. Could anyone do that? I seriously doubt it. However, as I grow and mature with him, we get closer. I know that it will never be perfect in this life. Yet, it is as perfect as I could ever hope. And does it get any more perfect than to know he will gladly change a diaper, get up in the middle of the night so that I can sleep, or rescue me from a bad night when I am so sick I vomit all over myself? 

And is the crying and chaos of a house full of children worth it when I get unsolicited hugs, dandelion bouquets, and hand-crafted works of crayon art?

This is my life and my joys. I know it is not for everyone. But what I do know is that if I walk through this life looking for what will satisfy my needs and how I will be fulfilled and look at everything from my own perspective, I will always be sorely disappointed. Joy and success in life come from the things that we do for other people. This defines true success.

And Ms. Actress lady, when it is not all about you and your needs, but what you can do for someone else, especially with the people you are the closest with, you will NEVER fail.

1 comment:

NormaKimokeo said...

O.M.GOSH........ AMEN AND AMEN!!! Can you mail your post to her? She needs it.

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