I Abhor Helicopter Moms

Every once in a while the public playground becomes a very unpleasant place for me. And no, it is not because one of my kids is acting up or being naughty, whiny, or generally obnoxious.

Nope, I am talking about the dreaded helicopter mom.  Especially when her looming, torrential back wind gets into my air space.  But needless to say, when there is a helicopter mom in the vicinity, you will surely get sucked in and then it just totally sucks.

Today was a helicopter day at McDonald's. After a lovely morning of watching a movie with some neighborhood friends, we decided to grab some lunch next door.  I was looking forward to this. A nice lunch, getting to know my new friend Katie, while our kids happily played.

It didn't last.  Helicopter grandma was hovering.

At first she came over to report that Katie's son Landon hit his head. It was an accident, thank goodness! But she kept going on and on and on, relaying every frickin' minute detail about how he hit his head. You would have thought that Landon had suffered a level 3 brain concussion and needed a medi-vac. Jeez, lady. Give it a rest. Landon was sitting there, as calm a palm tree on a tropical beach, listening to this lady rant (albeit nicely) about his poor little head.  He was looking at her like she was looney, but whatever.  Finally, the grandma-copter left. I should have just left then. I should have known what was coming.

But sure enough, about 15 minutes later she was back asking whose kid was wearing the blue shirt. Of course, it was mine.  Raef had done something to her precious grandkid and she was going to let me have it, to make sure I would parent him correctly.  Raef is pretty darn tall, Raef is clumsy, but he has the sweetest disposition and wouldn't hurt a fly. You should see the way he coddles Noelle.  A gentle giant.

First grandma-copter informs me that the playground is for kids under 12.  I tell her that he is 11!  Then she said he was being mean because he scared her grandson.  Oh, boo hoo. Poor little thing.  CALL THE POH-LICE! So grandma-copter, you mean to tell me that he was acting like an 11 year-old?!?! For shame. How dare he. The nerve of that kid. And there was a possibility that Raef had bumped him.

Oh golly.

I started packing up our stuff to leave.  And then I could just feel it all welling up inside of me. I wasn't going to take it anymore.  I told her that things happen.  {gasp!}  Kids get hurt. {gasp} Maybe she needs to relax a bit. {gasp} 

Her response was that she has 10 kids.  I said I had six.  But apparently I am not allowed to have an opinion or any input because I don't have 10 kids.  I guess you need 10 to be an expert and get up in everyone else's face and parse out unsolicited parenting advice.

Now that I have had time to think about why the helicopter mom ruins my park day I think I have had some insight.  

They bother me because they expect everything to be perfect. They expect all kids to robotic, perfect little specimens.  They hover over their own children and in the mean time reek a line of destruction for all the other imperfect children at the playground. And then they come at you like hell fire and damnation when you aren't expecting the same things out of your own kids.

Well, I think it is crap. I want my kid to climb UP the slide.  They learn to think out of the box. I want them to get owies and boo boos. They learn to overcome adversity and to be forgiving. I want them to learn how to play with others on their own without me smoothing the waters for them. They learn how to live in this world as a grown person. I want them to live their own lives and find out who they are.  I cannot do that for them and I refuse to, anyways.

How can they learn anything if I am constantly hovering, telling them what to do every single step of the way?

Helicopter moms want their kids to behave perfectly, don't want their kids to ever feel any pain, and they want to make sure all the other moms at the park see that they are great moms.

Get over yourselves! Sit your butt down on a bench, open up a book, and mind your own freakin' business. Let junior live a little. Make sure he doesn't run into the street. Make sure he doesn't get kidnapped. And then shut your mouth and let the kids play.

Set the helicopter down for an hour or two. I am getting tired of the wind.

Grand Canyon, Take-Two

Our trip to the Grand Canyon...Take-Two

Rinar's birthday is today.

"Happy Birthday Honey!" He is now 35!

We went to the Grand Canyon and it was spectacular. It sure takes a lot less time to get there when you go in a helicopter. It is only 80 miles from Las Vegas, as the birdie flies. What a great experience.

Here we are getting ready to take off. That is our pilot Scott Ritter. I sat next to him, front and center.A bird's-eye view of Hoover Dam. Look at the by-pass highway they are building. The bridge is going to be massive. You have to see it in person. It is impressive. They actually did a Mega-Builders episode on the Discovery Channel for this bridge. It is going to be so much easier getting to Arizona when it is completed. Right now, it is a major pain.

This is the edge of the Grand Canyon.

We were in the canyon in front of our nifty little helicopter for this picture. It was a perfect day. The weather was delicious and it was so peaceful. Apparently, the helicopter thing is very popular because there must have been about ten of them in the immediate vicinity and quite a bit of helicopter traffic as well.


The birthday boy...

Flying over the Las Vegas Strip.

My Birthday Day...And Yes, I am 32

Today is my birthday and I am 32. I think I want to gag when I look at that number. Don't worry, I will get over it.

Rinar took most of the day off. I got an iPod shuffle for my birthday. What a nice present. Then he took me to lunch at a little pizza place and I ate a calzone and chocolate hazelnut gelato. Then we went to Wal-mart and bought stuff for care packages for Jamie, mostly, but also for a few other missionaries in our ward. It is always fun to make a package to send to someone as a surprise.

After this, we moved the kids from one babysitter to the other one for our afternoon activity. Rinar informed me that he was taking me to the Grand Canyon...in a helicopter!!!

So, you may be wondering where all of those beautiful pictures of the Grand Canyon are, right?

Well, this is what the helicopter looked like. I know, because after we registered and were weighed, the drove us out in a van to the helicopter. They showed us how to put the seatbelt on and we had a life jacket belt around our waist (which is kind of ironic considering the fact that there is not really much water to crash into around here). Rinar and I got the seats in the front. We both buckled up and put on our head sets. The pilot turned on the propeller thing above us and then...

Yep, that is right...inclement weather. It seriously, like never, ever rains in this darn town. But it did today...at precisely the same time as we were going to do a super cool activity that you just don't do very often. I felt bad for Rinar. He really put a lot of thought into this and took the day off a work to do it, and he came away with nothing. But can I just say that I loved the downpour. It was wonderful because it made for a nice cool afternoon and evening.

What do you do when your plans get unexpectedly altered? You go to Deseret Industries, of course. We bought a bunch of toys, clothes, and other things we never thought we didn't need, but decided we couldn't live without.

I got a lemon bundt cake for a birthday cake, Mel brought me freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, and Elizabeth and Dwan gave me beautiful sunflowers, and 2 molten chocolate cakes from Fresh & Easy. Sue, my VT, gave me a book, The Last Lecture. What a great gift. I was eyeing that at Target.

The helicopter has been rescheduled for Rinar's birthday...but I did get to sit in a helicopter. I had never done that before.