Fauxetry

Okay, at the risk of offending every writer out there, here I go...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
But not this one


I went with my wonderful husband to the Nevada Governor's Arts Awards at the World Market Center on Thursday. We sat with the Nevada School of the Arts people,

There we are, the rabble in the back. Seating chart people were wise in their placement, as it muffled my mocking tone. My leg is still sore from my husband's constant knee in my side trying to get me to shut it up.

This is the kids violin/viola teacher, Jennifer

Governor Jim Gibbons is speaking. The quality of my photography astounds me sometimes.

since my kids take their violin lessons there. It was a fun night and they award stuff to different people involved in arts from all walks of life. One of the recipients was a writer who has written a lot of books, poetry books for young people. The books looked really thick in the video montage and when she stood up to recieve her award she shared one of her lenghty "poems" with us.


Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....................................

Oh, I am sorry. Yeah, so anyways.

Yes, okay now I come clean. The poem didn't rhyme and I think I am prejudiced against poems that don't rhyme. I like to call it fauxetry. It is not really poetry. Now, I know there are many of you out there that like this type of stuff, but I don't. There, I said it! If you write this kind of poetry, more power to you. I am not trying to discourage your form of expression. I just think it is the road more traveled (ha ha, get it!) and so much easier to craft than a poem that is interesting AND rhymes. Rhyming something in a non-cliche sort of way is not easy to do. It is like trying to sit down and compose a Bach-esque counterpoint piano sonata. You can't just bang it out.

I compare fauxetry to certain kinds of modern art. No, I am not talking about the great artists like Kandinsky, Chagall, and Dahl. I am talking about the guy that takes a stuffed panda bear, sets it on top of a free-standing ladder, throws hot pink packing peanuts on the ground, and shines an over-sized spotlight on it and expects me to be amazed and moved. I think it is lazy. Can you really compare this to a Delacroix or Picasso? Really? Seriously?

In the same vain, fauxetry is just the easier way to go. I think about myself and my brief stint as a poet in 10th grade English class.

"Oh crap, I have to write a poem and it is due by fifth period!"

Now, grant it wasn't as thought provoking as the great William Carlos William and that glistening red wheelbarrow sitting beside some white chickens or anything, but it was impressive. But deep down inside I knew that it wasn't really impressive and I did a lousy job, even though I still got an A+.

I have been studying poetry with my kids for the last 3 years and I have developed a deep appreciation for the great poets and their poems.

"Oh, Captain my Captain", "The Charge of the Light Brigade", "Jabberwocky", "The Touch of the Masters Hand".

I could go on and on. I remember sitting in a Geography class in college and being very impressed by the professor and how often he would recite beautiful language that would roll off of his tongue and mesmerize me. I wanted to be able to do that. The cadence and rhythm of the poem would pull me in and soothe my soul.

Even now, I look at the difference the written word affects my two-year old child. He will be still and completely enraptured in "How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight", a clever and wonderfully written poem for young children. Soon, he will be ready for masters like Dr. Seuss and Robert Louis Stevenson.

I love the way all of these poems have affected my 8 year-olds and their intellectual and moral development as well.

"A child should always say what's true, and speak when he is spoken to..." or "If you will have your learning stay, be patient, don't learn too fast; The man who walks a mile each day, may get round the world at last." etc. etc.

Wonderful! And they will remember it.

Now, I think we have become so lazy in society and focused on "the test" that we don't expose children to master poets. Then you expect them to be creative and just whip out a poem for some assignment. How could they possibly know how to rhyme something when they have never read or memorized a well-crafted poem? The only poetry that kids or society gets these days, for that matter, is on the radio. The great poets today are Brad Paisley, Jon Bonjovi, Gwen Stefani....oh, you get the picture. Most of that stuff is stupid stuff, written for stupid people, but we remember it. Yes, there is the catchy beat, but also the catchy rhyme. It just sticks to you, what can I say?

Here is the beginning of the poem from Barack Obama's inauguration by Elizabeth Alexander...

Each day we go about our business, walking past each other, catching each
others’ eyes or not, about to speak or speaking. All about us is noise. All
about us is noise and bramble, thorn and din, each one of our ancestors on our
tongues. Someone is stitching up a hem, darning a hole in a uniform, patching a
tire, repairing the things in need of repair.
Someone is trying to make music somewhere with a pair of wooden spoons on an
oil drum with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice.
A woman and her son wait for the bus.

This is a poem? Really? I mean it just really grabs you and pulls you in, right?
ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
Oh, I am sorry about that again. I just can't help it. This is a fauxem, not a poem. Fauxetry, simply put.
If you don't believe me and you think I am full of it, then prove it. Write a poem that rhymes and is not a cliche. Then write one that doesn't.
Good luck, and remember that it is due by fifth period!