14 Years Old!

I can't believe that 14 years ago I became a mom for the first time. I have been so blessed with two incredible young men. I love them both so much. Raef is now officially 6 feet tall and Zach is almost 5'10". They are both a pleasure to be around. And in honor of this momentous birthday, Rinar and I broke down and got them both phones. I guess it is time for them to enter a new phase of life. They were both pretty darn surprised and very happy with the gift.

On Friday night, we took the family to watch Zach perform in a very shortened version of King Lear. The kid was a riot. He played both Cornwall and Edmund. It was funny because there was one scene where he had to do both parts at the same time. I enjoyed it thoroughly. He couldn't help but smile with every line, even though he was supposed to be "evil". The most adorable "evil" Edmund I think I have ever seen.

On Saturday, Rinar took them and about 8 friends to Chick-Fil-A and then a movie at the $1 theater. When they got back, they hung out in the basement for a little while and played a hilarious game of sting pong.  You play round robin pong and the last one standing gets to hit the ball into the bare backs of the losers.  Those boys were hilarious. Rinar and Brian L. (Eli and Izzy's dad) even joined in on the fun.  Zach just sat with Izzy the whole time as he had not interest in playing.

Closet Chaos

I am realizing a truth about myself: I hate clothes. I despise laundry, I don't like folding, I especially don't like putting it away. For some reason, this is my achilles heel. If I could wear the same jeans every day for the rest of my life and somehow get away with it, I would. I don't know what it is. But when I see this...

it almost sends me into a breakdown. This was what I came home to tonight. One two year-old was able to pull out every single piece of clothing and toy and dress-up and pile it on the floor. It paralyzes me when I have to deal with this. But, I must add, that I kept the murmuring down to a low simmer while I was excavating this disaster. I am proud of myself for that. 

I can take a disastrous kitchen in stride or even a chaotic living room. But this kind of stuff is the worst for me. Bleh!

I took out every single piece of clothing in the girls' room and put it on my dining room table. I pulled out the television, popped in a movie, and started the long process of purge, fold, organize. It only took about 2 hours to get all of that (more of it is being the closet door) consolidated into 4 small baskets. Those baskets now reside in the linen closet in the hall. No more clothes in this room for the foreseeable future. My sanity depends on it.

A Nice Visit From Some Old Friends

I played hooky from Julia's school today to be able to get stuff done at home. I am super glad that I did. I really killed it with homeschool today. We even did science, with a science experiment and everything! Now that says everything right there.

This evening Kristin L. and her kids came over tonight for dinner. Her husband Brian was working and did not come. It was great to be able to visit. Her 4 children are all about the same age as all of ours and they get along really well, almost too well. Zach has a big crush on her daughter Izzy and the feeling is definitely mutual.Yikes!

Kristin needed a safe place to come and talk about some of her troubles right now, which are pretty epic. My heart aches for her. I just hope she can find the peace that she needs and the answers to prayers on some hard choices she is going to have to make. It is so true that you should never judge anyone. You never know what mountain they are trying to climb.

A Recap of the Rest of the Week

It was a busy week. These days, they seem to feel like a whirlwind and then it is like, kerplunk, Sunday. I did pretty good with everything. Sugar was fairly good until the weekend, then I had some slippage. But I will get back on the bandwagon tomorrow.  I also was able to study my classic book 3 days this week. That is not too shabby. I am surprised at how much I am enjoying this book, Confessions by Saint Augustine. 

On Thursday, we ended having a pretty significant snow storm and in only an hour or so, there was quite a bit of accumulation. I am grateful that I have 4-wheel drive. I was able to drive Zach home from wrestling practice without any problem. When I got home and was wrapping up my day, I got a text from Lindsey M. asking me to come rescue her and some of her kids from the shopping mall parking lot off of 123rd South. Her husband was in Provo and couldn't help her. Lindsey was not driving a 4-wheel drive and didn't feel safe with the elevation changes. I hopped in my car and was able to pick them all up, while avoiding many cars that were stuck on the hill by the roundabout. That was a fun adventure for me.

With all of the snowfall, Rinar, Raef, Zach, and Eli spent at least two hours on Friday making a snowman family that currently adorns our front yard. They made snowmen for each one of us and it is quite a sight. I love it. And they had a blast doing it.

Saturday was pretty uneventful. I took Raef to do a seating audition for Lamb of God. I was glad he could get the experience of auditioning, even though he knows he is in the orchestra. Then in the evening we took the entire family to the athletic club to go swimming. There was practically no one at the gym, but a surprisingly large number of families using the swimming pool. I am so glad that we did that. Everyone swam, including Noelle. I put her in a floatie vest and she was pretty bold in where she would go. Noelle really enjoyed the pool and so did all of the other kids.

And today wrapped up the week nicely. We went to church and Raef and Zach played a duet in sacrament meeting. Raef played the viola and Zach was on the piano, playing "If You Could Hie to Kolob". It was marvelous. I was so nervous for them. My heart was really pounding. But the two of them were pros. They have really started to become true musicians. I can feel their emotions in the songs they play and it is just beautiful. This piece was not exception. They worked flawlessly together and really helped to bring the spirit to the meeting. It is such a blessing to have music in our home. I subbed in primary today as the pianist, as the current pianist is getting ready to move. Dottie is her name and right before Christmas her 25 year-old daughter Whitney suddenly passed away from complications from a miscarriage. It was quite shocking and so I have subbed a lot for Dottie this past month. 

When we got home from church, all of us sat down and played several rounds of Scum. It is a game that all of the kids can play, and they all do really well at it. I rarely even do myself. And then for dinner, Dottie and her husband Chris came over to eat with us. I didn't want them to be home alone and feeling sad. So they joined the craziness at our house. It was really nice. We ate a classic Sunday roast and then gave them an impromptu concert. All of the kids played something for them and I could see that they both enjoyed it. It was a blessing to be able to be with them and cheer them up and get to know them better. I am going to be sad to see them leave. I hope we will be able to stay in touch.

Oh yeah, and we tried to do this for a few days. We had a few victories, but many more defeats. But I live to fight another day. 

Confession

I have conquered day one. No sugar! I woke up early! I at least put my first classic book on hold at the library!

Day one victories.

I will take it. 

I have been volunteering in Julia's kindergarten class since the beginning of the school year. It is a real pain as it is always on Monday afternoons and throws off my homeschooling rhythm. I like to get a strong start on the week when it comes to homeschooling. I am lucky to get in an hour of work for Harry and Eli because I do this class. I think I am going to have to start calling in sick more often. Luckily, another mom is also there so I  think they could live without me. 

I need to learn how to develop sincere relationships with people that I don't necessarily care for too much.  This is something I have been struggling with the past little while. That is probably not true. It is a weakness I have had my entire life and because of circumstances placed before me, my weaknesses have been exposed to me and I know I need to change. About a year ago a family moved into our ward and over that period of time I have had many interactions with them. I can pretty much say that almost none of them have really left me with warm fuzzies.  They aren't mean or anything like that at all, it is just that I always  say that they are not my 'cup of tea', especially the mom. She really is a very nice person and has never done anything to me at all, it is just that I find her annoying. I try to change the way I feel about her, but it just doesn't seem to happen.  Okay, I honestly don't think I am trying that hard, let's be real here. 

When I realized that I just didn't care for her and really didn't want to associate with her too much, I felt that it was fine. You don't have to be best friends with everyone. We are on good terms as far as I am concerned. I just wouldn't want to go to dinner with her or anything.  Normally, I wouldn't even think about this, but ironically about 4 months ago I got assigned to be her visiting teacher. Oy! Now it is my responsibility to have a relationship with her and to be her friend. 

My partner and I are good friends and have been ever since I moved into the ward. Also, my partner has been building a strong relationship with the lady and completely excluding me. When the weather was nice, they would go walking together many times each week. I tried to go once and then it got canceled. I see them all the time at church functions talking to each other and I always feel like an intruder, which is most likely a result of my own making.

I need to rectify this situation. Hopefully, I can figure out a way to do that.

New Year's Resolutions

Now that I am pretty sure I have lost all of 50 of my followers, I guess it is time to start blogging again. Haha! Actually, I think that non-profit, non self-promoting, family type blogging has been officially killed off by Instagram and professional bloggers. I love Instagram. I love the fact that it is so easy and captures the little moments and then I can have it automatically sent off somewhere to be printed into a cute little book. I also don't have a desire to promote myself at all. I have no agenda. Well, I guess that is not true. I do have an agenda. I want to send positive things out there into the 'e' world. Heaven knows that there is just a ton of negative crap on the internet. I hope this can be a positive place to be, although I don't expect anyone to actually read it. It is just for me, really. And it is also for my kids. I do like to print up all of these blogs into a book every year, and my kids love to read about it.

Another thing that I need from this blog is a place to practice my writing. I have loftier goals this year, to get published somewhere 'big'. I started writing for a publication called 'Draper Lifestyle' and have had at least one article in every issue since August. But I would like to try for something a bit more ambitious this year and see where it leads me. I know that I just need to write, write, write and more ideas will flow. At least, that is what I hope.

I have so many things in my heart that I need to get down on this blog. It has been pent up and I don't even know where to begin. Hopefully I can retrieve it all from my insides and eventually equalize.

Since it is the beginning of a new year, I guess today I can talk about my New Year's resolutions. I do have some.

1. Go to bed early

2. Get published in a bigger venue

3. Quit sugar (again)

4. Study the classics

First, the most important goal is to go to bed early. This will really manifest itself in not indulging in nightly television watching in my basement.  I steal away after my kids go to bed and then don't emerge for another two hours. I know I am wasting my life away and then struggling to get up in the morning, which then sets me on my heels to which I am trying to play catch up for the rest of the day. If I just focus on early bed by not watching late night television, I know that everything else will course correct.  I am ready for the challenge.

Second, as I have already discussed, I am going to work on writing some really good stuff and then pitch it to bigger publications like Deseret News. I know that if I am successful in this endeavor, it will lead to greater opportunities. I think I can do it.

Third, sugar is a no-brainer. I successfully ditched the sweet stuff for three months and fell of the wagon a bit in December.  But I am ready to reconquer it and free myself from sugar. I know I can do it, and more importantly, I want to do it.

Fourth, since I will be significantly cutting my television consumption, I need to fill that with something. I would like to get smarter and be able to join the "Great Conversation". I know that I don't know a whole lot. So, with a lot of patience and a dedicated study time every day, I can chip away at my ignorance and open my mind to great new ideas, people, and places.

As for my family, the biggest news lately is my decision to have Zach go to high school. I need him to be somewhere else and I really think that he is ready. That does not mean that it will be a smooth transition, but we are going to work on preparing for high school these next 8 months so that he can be as successful as possible. He wants to go, I want him to go, and it is time.

It is always good to just write and post something, anything on the blog after a long hiatus. I hope to be here often.

A Time for Goodbyes

Rinar's grandmother passed away on Thursday morning. She was 94 years old. Over the past ten years her whole world has been closing in on her. By the time she died, she couldn't see, couldn't really hear, and couldn't remember anything. Death was such a release for her.  But still, knowing that this is really a good thing, it still makes me sad to know she is gone. We really loved her. She was such a rock for Rinar's family and for the community in Laie, Hawaii. Fortunately, the funeral isn't until the end of the month, so Rinar should be able to go and say goodbye.

We went to St. George this weekend. I really wanted to do a mini vacation but we ended up doing the same old stuff. Oh well. The little kids stayed with Nordel so that they could play together. I stayed with my grandmother. Raef and Zach joined me. And then Rinar stayed at his mom's house with Noelle. Margaret was visiting Linda, which was why we split up into so many groups. 

I was able to have a nice visit with my grandmother. She is getting very old and very frail very quickly. It was hard to watch her try to stand up. Her poor body just makes her miserable right now. There is absolutely no bend in her feet, toes, ankles...nothing. She has a very hard time moving around at all. But grandma is as sharp as ever, although her voice does not always agree with her.  I felt myself getting a  bit teary watching her struggle so much. I know that my time with her is very short. I am really going to miss her when she is gone.  I have been so blessed to be able to spend so much time with her these past 20 years. I cherish all of the time and hope I have a little bit longer before she passes away and joins my grandpa on the other side of the veil.

Rinar and I were able to go to the St. George Arts Festival for a little while on Saturday. Linda and Noelle also came. It was really fun. They had live music that was enjoyable and the art was fantastic. We watched a group of 5 siblings perform on violin while they danced and clogged and sang. They were quite a bunch of performers. I was really impressed. Although the music was not terribly difficult to play, their stage presence was outstanding. After the festival we met up with Nordel's family for some bowling. Our kids had a blast and Harry was adamant that I watch him while he bowled. He told me that he wanted me to watch him forever. Oh, my heart.

On Sunday, we ate dinner at Lyf's house with all of his siblings. It was a lot of fun catching up with everyone. We ate elk roast with potatoes and carrots and played card games. The kids were able to spend a lot of time with their cousins.

I had hoped to go to Bryce Canyon National Park today on our way home but I checked the weather and it was supposed to be cold and windy. We were not prepared for those conditions. Instead, after a slow start we stopped in Cedar City to watch the movie "Cinderella". It was okay, but the kids seemed to enjoy it. Actually, everyone except Noelle enjoyed it. She was super fussy. Rinar held her in the hallway and she ended up falling asleep on his shoulder. That worked out okay, I guess. I suppose bad weather was good because it enabled us to have a wonderful visit with Rinar's cousin Jenny. She lives in Parowan and is deathly ill. Jenny just found out that she has cancer and it is spreading at a horrendous rate.  She found out a few months ago, but as a few weeks ago the doctor told her she has about a week to live. But after two weeks, she is still here. What a blessing it was for us to be able to visit with her. She seems to be in really good spirits. Maybe this is why she is still here. Her mother Carma is with her and she has had tons of visitors. Rinar's family is truly amazing. I don't think any of my family would do what they have done for her. I am in awe. We took this picture right before we left and said our goodbyes. I know that we will see her again.

I guess this past week has been a time for goodbyes.  Goodbye Jenny and Grandma C. We know we will see you soon. God be with you till we meet again.