Confession

I have conquered day one. No sugar! I woke up early! I at least put my first classic book on hold at the library!

Day one victories.

I will take it. 

I have been volunteering in Julia's kindergarten class since the beginning of the school year. It is a real pain as it is always on Monday afternoons and throws off my homeschooling rhythm. I like to get a strong start on the week when it comes to homeschooling. I am lucky to get in an hour of work for Harry and Eli because I do this class. I think I am going to have to start calling in sick more often. Luckily, another mom is also there so I  think they could live without me. 

I need to learn how to develop sincere relationships with people that I don't necessarily care for too much.  This is something I have been struggling with the past little while. That is probably not true. It is a weakness I have had my entire life and because of circumstances placed before me, my weaknesses have been exposed to me and I know I need to change. About a year ago a family moved into our ward and over that period of time I have had many interactions with them. I can pretty much say that almost none of them have really left me with warm fuzzies.  They aren't mean or anything like that at all, it is just that I always  say that they are not my 'cup of tea', especially the mom. She really is a very nice person and has never done anything to me at all, it is just that I find her annoying. I try to change the way I feel about her, but it just doesn't seem to happen.  Okay, I honestly don't think I am trying that hard, let's be real here. 

When I realized that I just didn't care for her and really didn't want to associate with her too much, I felt that it was fine. You don't have to be best friends with everyone. We are on good terms as far as I am concerned. I just wouldn't want to go to dinner with her or anything.  Normally, I wouldn't even think about this, but ironically about 4 months ago I got assigned to be her visiting teacher. Oy! Now it is my responsibility to have a relationship with her and to be her friend. 

My partner and I are good friends and have been ever since I moved into the ward. Also, my partner has been building a strong relationship with the lady and completely excluding me. When the weather was nice, they would go walking together many times each week. I tried to go once and then it got canceled. I see them all the time at church functions talking to each other and I always feel like an intruder, which is most likely a result of my own making.

I need to rectify this situation. Hopefully, I can figure out a way to do that.