What Sets Me Off

Some things never change. Today, I had a bit of temper tantrum.  Me...not my kids.  I was being such a good mom. I was actually cleaning things up before things spiraled out of control.  Eli's room was looking especially sorry, so I made his bed, picked up the dirty clothes, and spent at least 20 minutes putting the books back on his bookshelf. I organized them and made the room look quite nice.


Then Eli got in trouble. I don't even remember why.  Naturally, I banished him to his room. I tried to be loving and understanding of his feelings, but when I saw the other side of the bed, I lost it. Every bookshelf was empty, except the top one. He just couldn't reach that one. I gave him one good spank on the bottom and left. 


Then I started jumping up and down, screaming, because I was so frustrated. I can get no traction in this house!  I was screaming, hopping mad.


I sat down and fumed. Eli came out defiantly, stark naked. I just rolled my eyes. Whatever. Be naked. See if I care.


I was stewing over this whole episode in the back of my head and I came to a realization. I remember being about 5 or 6 years old, when we lived in a trailer in Provo, Utah.  My mom was sleeping and we were supposed to do the dishes and not wake her up, above all else.  Well, after I had washed almost every stinkin' dish in the house, my little sister Heather wanted a drink.  I was like, NO WAY!  You are not getting a cup dirty. This was too much work. She started crying, I got mad. We had a spat. Then, guess what? My mom woke up. She shooed us out of the trailer, and I sulked around waiting with terror for my dad to come home. Sure enough, he drove by and then a few minutes later he came marching fiercely toward me.


Yep, I got in big trouble.  


I can see the similarities here. I had got it just the way I wanted it and then someone comes along and wrecks it. I guess it is a test I haven't passed yet. It is kind of on the same lines as not ever taking a u-turn. I hate taking u-turns. It stresses me out. U-turns and re-cleaning things just cleaned...now you know what will set me off.