When Panic Sets In

It occasionally happens to me. I get this panicky, I can't breathe feeling. It usually comes on in the afternoon.  It doesn't happen too much, maybe 3 or 4 times a month, but it is a hard feeling to overcome. Today was one of those days.


I had decided this morning that I wanted to get my house cleaned.  No matter what.  But there was a failure to launch.  It might have been the incessant whining, the never-ending demands for my attention, the recalcitrant 2 year-old bladder, the "art project" in the bathroom, or the put-away toys that kept coming back for an encore.


I just became absolutely overwhelmed and the panic started to rise from deep within me.  I couldn't handle it, and I couldn't find my Norwex rag anywhere to get the urine off the carpet. I just couldn't get it going. No matter how much I walked around putting things away or wiping something down, it just didn't seem to be getting any better.


Oh, the agony!


Somehow or another, I was able to turn things around and the house looked tolerably well when Rinar walked through the door.  But sheesh...it was an angst-filled afternoon.


All I can say is, I was able to go on a date with my husband, my kids are asleep, and I can hear my own thoughts.  In other words...


I'M ALIVE!!!

What Sets Me Off

Some things never change. Today, I had a bit of temper tantrum.  Me...not my kids.  I was being such a good mom. I was actually cleaning things up before things spiraled out of control.  Eli's room was looking especially sorry, so I made his bed, picked up the dirty clothes, and spent at least 20 minutes putting the books back on his bookshelf. I organized them and made the room look quite nice.


Then Eli got in trouble. I don't even remember why.  Naturally, I banished him to his room. I tried to be loving and understanding of his feelings, but when I saw the other side of the bed, I lost it. Every bookshelf was empty, except the top one. He just couldn't reach that one. I gave him one good spank on the bottom and left. 


Then I started jumping up and down, screaming, because I was so frustrated. I can get no traction in this house!  I was screaming, hopping mad.


I sat down and fumed. Eli came out defiantly, stark naked. I just rolled my eyes. Whatever. Be naked. See if I care.


I was stewing over this whole episode in the back of my head and I came to a realization. I remember being about 5 or 6 years old, when we lived in a trailer in Provo, Utah.  My mom was sleeping and we were supposed to do the dishes and not wake her up, above all else.  Well, after I had washed almost every stinkin' dish in the house, my little sister Heather wanted a drink.  I was like, NO WAY!  You are not getting a cup dirty. This was too much work. She started crying, I got mad. We had a spat. Then, guess what? My mom woke up. She shooed us out of the trailer, and I sulked around waiting with terror for my dad to come home. Sure enough, he drove by and then a few minutes later he came marching fiercely toward me.


Yep, I got in big trouble.  


I can see the similarities here. I had got it just the way I wanted it and then someone comes along and wrecks it. I guess it is a test I haven't passed yet. It is kind of on the same lines as not ever taking a u-turn. I hate taking u-turns. It stresses me out. U-turns and re-cleaning things just cleaned...now you know what will set me off.

Eli Cleans His Room

When we got home from co-op this afternoon, Eli got really busy doing something. I was in the throes of preparing dinner so I didn't pay much attention. He kept coming over to me to tell me that he was cleaning his room. He seemed very excited. I thought it was great.  Way to go Eli!  Keep it up!  Then a few minutes later he told me that he cleaned his bathroom as well.  Wow, this kid is an over-achiever. But I never had a chance to inspect his work.

Then after dinner, Eli exuberantly helped me clear the table AND load the dishwasher. He was really into it. It was great.  It was a fun time together.  

Then it was time for bed.  I was reading to Raef and Zach and Rinar was in charge of Eli.  Rinar came over to me and said that I had to come and see Eli's "clean" room.

Ta-da!!!

He took all of the soap bottles from the bathroom and stacked them on top of his little piano.  He also propped a book up on the end of the bed, with a VHS tape and three remote controls, stacked like a pyramid.

I had cleaned his room earlier this week. It looked really good.  

Eli just made a few improvements.

My New Favorite Thing

Today I cleaned my house. I did it with a wet cloth and a dry cloth. It was friggin' awesome. I didn't use sprays of any kind and my house is sparkling clean. I. Love. It.

I went to one of those home parties last week and learned about this company called Norwex. They are Canadian and they have this microfiber cloth that is magic. It kills bacteria because of the silver it has in it...something like that.  I could get all technical on you but the important thing is that it works!  I am not the best housekeeper, but I feel empowered with this little rag.  

From now on, I am keeping it in my back pocket as I walk about my house during the day. When I see something, I will take just a minute to wipe it up. I won't need to get multi-purpose spray or windex from some obscure location.  I'll just wipe it down and I am done.  Isn't that a beautiful thing?

You may be wondering why I am writing about this on my blog. It is because I am in love with this thing. I don't sell it. I am getting nothing out of it by blogging about it. But I just figure that if it is making me this happy, I want everyone else to be as happy as I am. 

They have other products that I am excited to get my hands on in the future. But for now, I have my lovely yellow cloth and pink drying towel and I am going to RULE THE WORLD.

I cleaned the entire bathroom, mirrors, doors, tabletops, counters, floors, the piano, cabinets...need I go on?  And the cloth doesn't smell. 

As soon as I get my cleaning paste, I am tackling my recalcitrant stove top and other difficult spots that have plagued me for years. I am not worried. I know that I shall overcome.

I am going to host a party at my house on January 27th, and I am looking forward to sharing this wonderful marvel with all of my friends. It is my gift to humanity.

Wonderful Things

I have been doing nightly spring cleaning chores around my house. Isn't it a wonderful thing when you can look at a corner of your house and it is sparkling clean? Everything is in it's place and the dust has been vamooshed for a while. I reclaimed two rooms of my house and a corner of my kitchen. It is like a breath of fresh air, my soul feels lighter and it builds momentum. With one corner done, I find the courage, desire, and energy to take on more decluttering tasks. It is great. Of course I am saying this while I am sitting at my desk where paper and junk is about to fall on top of me. But I will come out conqueror soon enough.

The boys have been participating in Cub Scout camp this week and it has been so much fun for them and me. They get to do lots of activities, crafts, and sports for four hours every day and I get a mostly quiet house. Plus, when I clean something up it actually stays that way for a while. Wonderful.

And in other news, Julia made a big step in life today. She rolled over from her back to her stomach and then from her stomach to her back. She is a very content baby girl so most of the time she is fine just laying on her back and looking around. Tonight I put her and Harry on the floor while I dealt with getting Eli to bed and Raef and Zach. She was not happy. I laid her on her back and she starting crying. The next time I came in she was on her stomach. Then when i was finally able to start feeding both of them, she was on her back again. Bravo, Julia!

I Guess I Ought to Blog Something

I have been in a blogging funk. Sorry, Grandma(s). I have just been so busy trying to get my life back to normal around here. My house is in complete disarray and I am trying to re-array it.

I almost have all of my Christmas decorations up. Rinar just needs to put some on the outside of the house. I cleaned up a lot of corners and stacks of clutter downstairs. This weekend I also purged all baby clothing, separated it, and put things in proper bedroom spaces. I cleaned out three bookshelves and re-put things in new places. It is all so convoluted because when I was pregnant we moved all of the kids' bedrooms around. Raef and Zach's new room is pretty set, but the other two are just sketched out. They both need to be painted and redecorated and everything. So I am just trying to take it one step at a time. Lots of little things add up to big things. I am a big believer in that.

On top of trying to restore order to my home, I also have to nurse two babies, change loads of dirty diapers, and shuttle kids to music lessons and such. My one saving grace is that I started a little dinner group co-op. Hence, on Tuesday and Wednesday I don't have to cook. I have a lovely meal delivered to my doorstep. Then on Thursday I cook for me and the two other families. I have been able to be more thoughtful about my cooking day and plan for it without the burden of daily cooking duties. It has truly been a huge blessing.

Harry and Julia are doing fantastic these days. They are growing like crazy and are sleeping longer at night. Last night they did 6 hours, from midnight to 6:30am. Hence, I slept for about 5 1/2 hours uninterrupted. It was great. Each night it gets a little bit longer, so I would guess that within the next 2-3 weeks they will probably sleep 8-10 hours. I look forward to normalcy.

We had a wonderful double Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving day we spent it with our good friends Stan and Amy O. They have 4 kids about the same age so it worked out well for all of us. It was a very traditional dinner that was a breeze to put together because we split up the cooking duties. Then on Friday we went to St. George to have Thanksgiving with Rinar's family. We have been doing this for many years now and it works out great. There is no conflict with other family functions with all of his brothers and sisters.

Here are a couple of random photos from the last couple of weeks.