Musings

I was watching the last part of "A River Runs Through It" and I was moved by this line, a sermon given by the father in the movie...


"Either we do not know what part of ourselves to give, or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. So it is those who we live with and love and should know that elude us. But we can still reach out to them, we can love completely without complete understanding." -A River Runs Through It"


I think that we all struggle with certain relationships in our lives.  No matter how you try to shake it or brush it off, you just cannot.  I am constantly revisiting that idea repeatedly. There are people in my life that I love and who have affected me deeply but I still feel like an alien to them. I just don't understand them and what they do or don't do. It is hard and sometimes it is hurtful but I try really hard not to take it personally. However, it is difficult to not take it personally, when it is so personal.


What would Jesus Christ do? What does he want me to do? Or more importantly, what does he NOT want me to do?


Then I was watching this movie and I was struck by this realization.  Christ wants me to love unconditionally.  He wants me to always have an open heart. When it is open, I know that I am more vulnerable to getting hurt, but it doesn't matter. It is his will and no matter what happens to me, Christ makes me whole. He binds up any wound and he strengthens me. 


Also, I do not understand everything. There are people in my life whom I love but I do not understand. They baffle me, if you want to know.  But once again, it is not for me to understand. Christ commands me to not judge, but to love completely, without complete understanding. 


Just love them.


There is so much that I have to give, but you cannot give what people are not willing to take. But I am going to try very hard to have my heart completely and utterly open to them always. Maybe someday they will.